Clear Ambiguity - Ambiguous Clarity
Clear Ambiguity - Ambiguous Clarity
So I’m sitting in a room in the American Embassy being interviewed by 4 women and I can’t hear much of what is going on.
Lets backtrack a little bit. 1 month prior I had just landed a really good job with an amazing tech startup. Had been through an amazing induction program. 2 weeks in, on a Saturday evening I felt an unbearable amount of pressure in my right ear. The pain was intense but it eventually subsided to semi-comfortable levels. I just happened to be in a hospital visiting a family member so I went into the triage unit for assistance. First of all let me explain that at this point I could barely hear. I had to keep asking the hospital staff to repeat themselves and it was (to my understanding) quite irritating for them. My hearing was not completely gone but it was nowhere near sufficient.
To put this into context, at the age of 6 or 7, I suffered from mumps. As is very common in Kenya, I was treated for malaria. The medication, coupled with my condition caused a reaction in my body that adversely affected the hearing in my left ear. I tried to use hearing aids to correct this but all they did was help me feel vibrations depending on how loud the sound was. I eventually gave up and amidst my denial came to terms with my single sided hearing (as they call it). I never once saw it as a disability and just kept finding ways to work around my problem. I either ensure that I sit in the front left side of a classroom, lecture hall.Or on the left side of whoever I am talking to. Or I turn my head to theft in order to be able to clarify any sounds coming from my left side. Let me set this straight, Any sound I hear is picked up by my right ear. Whether it is from behind, the left or the right doesn’t matter. So my first instinct is always to turn to the right. Although I sometimes overcompensate by scanning the area to my left to make sure it isn’t coming from there. So simple tasks like trying to find my phone (while it is ringing) when I don’t remember where I put it down. It could be within arms length but may take me a while or the assistance of someone else to find it.
Lets not digress. So back to the hospital. I saw a doctor who told me I had a build up of wax and was given some ear drops to dissolve them and booked for a follow up after 7 days to see if they would need to syringe me (process of using a syringe connected to a tube to pump warm water into the ear to remove any stubborn or large amounts of wax. In retrospect, I remember my wife complaining that the TV was always too loud when I was watching it (And the irritation/frustration/downright rudeness I threw back at her every time she mentioned it). Sorry Baby! Didn’t realize the extent of the problem then.
So about a week after I began applying the drops the pain had reached unbearable levels again and went to another hospital to get a second opinion. Actually I had gone to an outpatient clinic about 3 days later and the doctor had told the that the wax had cleared and if I was in pain, I needed to see an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist). So I was referred to one and went to see them. She told me that I had a buildup of fluid in my inner ear and it could take days or weeks or months to clear.
Jump back to my new amazing job, this was like nothing I had ever experienced in Kenya. An international startup with Flexi-hours and stock options. Plus it was walking distance from home. Fellow Kenyans, We need to change the way we do things. Anyway, 2 weeks in I had to take a few days of sick off hoping that the wax would clear soon and my hearing be restored. After my hearing was not restored I began going into the office. I couldn’t hear much of what was going on. Had to be very close to someone with my right ear almost touching their lips to hear properly. I could still hear a few words or phrases here and there but was generally communicating via email. Not effective or efficient but I wanted to show them how much I wanted the job. Meetings would pass me by and I would hear one or two words here and there but not anything significant. At home I had the same problem.
You see I could hear one or 2 words but never get the essence of a conversation. My family would have to raise their voices or speak directly into my ear for me to hear anything. In hindsight I think the problem was that I could not really hear but I could still hear a little bit. So when I nodded my head or gave some sort of non-verbal cue that I had herd what was being said, people assumed I could hear everything. And after repeating my story to everyone over and over, I got tired of explaining myself to the Mpesa (mobile money) agent, hospital staff, family members and friends and just started going with the flow. Semi-communicating, semi-understanding but not really understanding much.
Like many health related issues, this is a lonely and frustrating journey that is seldom understood by the people closest to you. So you reach a point where you kind of just stop explaining and go with the flow. I was eventually sent for a hearing test which confirmed that I had profound hearing loss in my left ear and mild-moderate hearing loss in my right ear. I was told that these could take days, weeks or months to heal. So I sought another opinion. I went to the ENT who had diagnosed me with Ca PNS (Cancer of the Post Nasal Space) about 13 years prior. He stuck some contraption into my ear and told me that there was still fluid behind my ear drum and that it needed to be drained. This would require a surgical procedure under local anesthesia. Basically my Eustachian tube was not functioning properly hence the pain, pressure and fluid behind my eardrum. He would also place a grommet (small tube) in my ear to widen the ear canal and help equalize the pressure and ensure that any fluid drained out of my ear. I think they call the procedure a myringotomy + insertion of grommet. He also mentioned that it was also a long term effect of the radiation and chemotherapy I had received 13 years prior. I thought I was done with this. But he told me that some hearing would be restored after the surgery.
Anyway, I scheduled an appointment for the day surgery, asked for a day off and had the procedure done. I must say that without the support from my wife, friends and family I would probably not have made it through the whole experience with my sanity intact. My whole demeanor and personality changed and I completely withdrew from society and in my own opinion may have started to walk down the path that leads to depression. But thats another story for another day. I remember lying in the recovery room and thinking to myself, I still can’t hear. He said the hearing would come back. My doctor told me that the surgery had gone well and my ear needed a few days to heal (well he said a whole lot more but thats all I could make out). I went in for a follow up about a week later and he told me that he was impressed with how my ear was healing. He also sent me for another hearing test which confirmed that although the hearing had improved slightly, a large portion of it could not be restored. He recommended I get a hearing aid for my right ear. The left ear which had been damaged from childhood still had some functional nerves but would not benefit from a hearing aid and he recommended a cochlear implant for the left ear.
So fast forward a few weeks (beginning of February 2017 and I get a call from someone from the American Embassy about some interview (I haven’t applied for any visa). I think I was busy or in a meeting so I brush her off and ask if it can be rescheduled. She calls me a few days later and this is a rough recollection of how the conversation went.
Xxxx: Hi Sidney. This is xxxx from the U.S Embassy. We would like to invite you for an interview.
Me: What is the interview for?
Xxxx: The program you applied for
Me: What Program?
Xxxx: The Mandela Washington Fellowship
Oh. Thats what it is. I think I had applied for the program in September or October the previous year and completely forgotten about it. Now to borrow from the Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) website, here is a snapshot of exactly what this meant.
“The Mandela Washington Fellowship for Young African Leaders, begun in 2014, is the flagship program of the Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) that empowers young people through academic coursework, leadership training, and networking. In 2017, the Fellowship will provide up to 1,000 outstanding young leaders from Sub-Saharan Africa with the opportunity to hone their skills at a U.S. college or university with support for professional development after they return home.
The Fellows, who are between the ages of 25 and 35, have established records of accomplishment in promoting innovation and positive impact in their organizations, institutions, communities, and countries. In 2016, Fellows represented all 49 countries in Sub-Saharan Africa. They also represent diversity across the continent as 66 Fellows identified as having a disability, thirty percent came from rural areas or towns of fewer than 100,000 people, and fifty percent of Fellows were women.”
https://yali.state.gov/washington-fellowship/
This was kind of an, ok……… let me see where this is going, moment. So I went in for the interview.
So I’m sitting in a room in the American Embassy being interviewed by 4 women and I can’t hear much of what is going on. I must commend the Embassy staff for their empathy. As I went in, I informed them of my problem and they were very accommodative. They were warm, welcoming and did not seem irritated or start to shout or talk to me like one would talk to their child even though many times I had to ask for them to repeat themselves. Long story short, they just wanted to get a feel for who I am. Who Sidney is. I was of course asked about my background and experience but it was really more about my mindset and passions. And if you haven’t read my previous articles, Cancer is something I am very passionate about. I currently sit on the board of an organization called Hope for Cancer Kids (HCK) and I explained to them that I wanted to make a lasting social impact in the lives of people who are going through something I had first hand experience in. To make a difference in their lives. Put a smile on their face. Give them hope. Encourage them. Make their experience (no matter the outcome) a little bit more bearable.
Well they told me that they would send their recommendations to the U.S Department of State who would make the final decision and get back to me by end or March 2017. Tuesday the 14th of March 2017.This was the day that I officially said goodbye to my amazing job. It also happened to be the day I got a letter signed by the American Ambassador to Kenya congratulating me for being chosen to participate in the 2017 Mandela Washington Fellowship for Young African Leaders. To put this into perspective, I was among 1000 people chosen from a pool of of approximately 64,000 applicants. Thats less than 2%.
Surely God works in mysterious ways!
Let me wind up by borrowing from an excerpt written about my Host Institution for the fellowship.
YALI was created by President Barack Obama in 2010 and aims to support the growth and prosperity of young African leaders, strengthen democratic governance and increase peace and security across Africa.
“We are honored to host the Mandela Washington Fellowship,” said Sukant Misra, associate vice provost for international programs in the Texas Tech Office of International Affairs. “This is a prestigious program and is highly competitive. Our selection is a terrific recognition of our institution’s international stature and the ultimate testament of our hard-working and ambitious faculty and staff.”
The cohort of fellows hosted by Texas Tech will be part of a larger group of 1,000 Mandela Washington fellows studying at institutions across the U.S. this summer. The fellowship program welcomes African civic, business and community leaders between the ages of 25 and 35 to U.S. universities and colleges and gives them access to free online courses in topics like climate change, entrepreneurship and human rights.
“It is important to note the fellows are not students,” Boren said. “They are young leaders in their home countries who were among 64,000 applicants to the fellowship program.”
Fellows are from every country in sub-Saharan Africa and have established records of accomplishment in promoting innovation and positive change in their organizations and communities. All of the applicants chosen are fluent in English and proven community leaders as assessed by the U.S. embassies in their countries. The selection process is stringent, Boren said, with less than 2 percent of all program applicants being chosen for the fellowship.
“The fellows are the best of the best in their countries,” Boren said. “We are honored to host these rising stars at Texas Tech in an executive-style education program focused on enhancing the leadership and service skills they already have demonstrated.”
Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm awake. The description of us in that passage is something else. We are the next crop of leaders in Africa. Let's take advantage of the opportunity we have been given, soak up all we can get from the program then begin to pour it all out to take Africa where she is meant to be.
"The sum of our parts is greater than the whole"
Aristotle
Lets see where this goes!
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